When it happened – no tears at nursery

Eleven days. 1 day for each month he’s been born. Harrison didn’t cry this morning when I dropped him off at nursery.

He looked back at me, in the arms of another women.

I waved and smiled and mouthed ‘goodbye’. Then he was gone and I left.

No tears.

NO TEARS. None.

As I left, a nursery assistant let me out. I was a bit shocked and ranting ‘he didn’t cry, first day he didn’t cry’. He smiled at me, a knowing smile, he’s seen this so many times, it’s nothing to him any more.
‘Yep, it happens sooner than you think’.

So, is this it? Has he adjusted? Will he cry tomorrow?

I’m not sure, we’ll just take it a day at a time, but today I felt like we’d moved forward. If only a tiny bit.

It surprisingly didn’t feel any sweeter leaving him, tears or no tears, I’d rather be with him, than on my way to Birmingham.

Dealing with mum guilt and returning to work

Commuting cross country again

Therefore after this positive start, I thought today was a day for winning at life.

Not so dick head.

Cue a call from the nursery at 2pm. ‘Harrison’s not himself at all. He’s sleepy and lethargic and very clingy’

Oh god oh god oh god.

Sleepy? Is this my baby, have they rung the wrong Mum? Something is definitely not right with him.

Is he eating? ‘No, not really much at all’.
Thank fully he didn’t have a temperature, but I couldn’t get to him, or even take him Calpol.

I was in bastarding Birmingham, half way across the country.

I couldn’t be back for two hours, Nanna had already left for work and Daddy was MIA at work. Options dwindling fast.

So his key worker cuddled and rocked him, until I could get there. The nursery were amazing. They told me not to worry, they’d take good care of him and call me if he got any worse.

I got back as soon as I could, and Harrison met me with a big smile. Again, no tears.

No tears!

On a day he had every right to be a little unhappy.

He’s asleep now and hopefully he’ll be feeling better in the morning, and who knows what day 12 at nursery may bring. I hope for Harrison, he’s getting used to his new surroundings and friends at nursery and soon, we’ll have no reason for tears at all.

Just funny faces, this one before bed just about sums up today.

Smile for the camera

I hope your little ones are settling in well too.

Can we really have it all, as a working mum?

Has motherhood changed me?

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